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The cries of victors and victimsIs it okay to let your emotions spill out in the workplace? This is the underlining theme of a work by Anne Kreamer in It’s Always Personal.
Citing studies and opinions held by workers in America, she reveals how relevant and prevalent are the outbursts of employers and employees; how the spill of emotions is perceived by others and felt personally; and how, in fact, they are beneficial to understanding and clearing the way to progress goals.
Women, who biologically are better equipped for producing tears and expressing themselves by crying, and who have the perception of being the gender most likely to burst out into a wet emotional response to personal attacks or difficult challenges, are the ones least likely to uphold the idea that it is okay to cry at work; whereas almost half the work population of men see this as a legitimate expression and release of emotion.
Why do we cry? At work – the bastion of hard, cold logic and reason – surely we will respond to challenges in the intellectual problem-solving manner we employ or which is being employed. Home is where the lighter, looser, more emotional side is better expressed. Right?
Well, not necessarily so. Our own survival programmes are embedded in our DNA; the way we hunt, gather and rely on social networking activities are what have got us through ages of successful living. Our animal instincts are still in tact, fighting over a bone, needing reassurance that we have done well for the group – not being ostracised and sent out into the wilderness to fend for ourselves.
Animal studies reveal the psychological damage of the miscreant. We are similar.
Tears in the workplace are more likely to be an onset from frustration or anger, and not from loss or sadness.
Anger, it is claimed by a large percentage of men (more than double that of women), is felt to be a very constructive tool to get the job done.
In fact, in a separate survey, aggressive, assertive, angry males were seen to be the better people to hire than passive males.
So what do we look for in leadership qualities? Go study the wolf. Howl.
Get it out. Get on with it.
