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Save the last dance for meA smile curls upon my lips whenever I think of Nelson Mandela dancing the wonderfully unique “Madiba Jive”. The great man had no problem pulling out the dance moves, whether it was at rural kindergarten visits to gala affairs abroad with the Queen Mother. The Madiba Jive was good for any time and any place.
I do not mean for this to be a racial slur, it is simply pure fact: white people cannot dance! Unless you are Johnny Clegg, Justin Timberlake or Fred Astaire. The rest of us ‘whiteys’ have been sadly handed two left feet by ancestral decent. It is genetic, really.
The same applies to the fact that Chinese people will never be the fastest sprinters or black people the fastest swimmers. White people will never be the greatest dancers.
So I have to question what Helen Zille and Theuns Botha were doing in recent election campaign marches when they whipped out frenetic toyi-toyi dance moves.
With respect, guys, I had exactly the same expression on my face watching your dancing as my daughter has when she cringes while watching me do the old moonwalk. It simply does not work.
When Zille was ragged in 2009 about her dancing, she retorted: “Must I stand stiff and say, ‘No thanks, I don’t want to dance’? Song and dance are part of our culture.”
Yes, I agree, song and dance certainly are part of our culture – but so is doing the langarm, and I would not want to see Julius Malema whipping Tannie Esmarie around the dance floor.
While I slate Malema’s most recent foot-in-mouth episode where he claimed, without naming Zille, “Have you ever seen an ugly woman in a blue dress dancing like a monkey because she is looking for votes?” – I have to urge Zille to stick to her strengths.
In fact, that goes for any white politician out there. It has nothing to do with which party you represent. Just do not dance, please! One never saw Winston Churchill dancing the jitterbug!
I am off now to go embarrass my daughter again with some ‘80s breakdance moves; it is in my culture…
