Many years ago, Shane Warne laid into the outspoken Sri Lankan captain Arjuna Ranatunga, questioning his cricketing abilities and saying he was "too fat to bat". And remember the former Wimbledon champion Richard Krajicek, who had a full go at women playing in the professional Women’s Tennis Association Series, saying that 80% of them were "fat, lazy pigs"? Under pressure from Martina Navratilova, Billie Jean King and others, he ‘edited’ his first version and said, "Okay, only 75% of them are fat, lazy pigs."
Now, Bafana Bafana's Brazilian physical trainer Francisco Gonzalez has said the same thing about 31-year-old striker Benni McCarthy, claiming that he is still too fat, despite his inclusion in the provisional 29-man World Cup squad.
That will leave coach Carlos Alberto Parreira with an extremely tough decision ahead of him as McCarthy struggles to prove he is fit enough to make the final squad of 23 for the Fifa Soccer World Cup that begins in less than four weeks.
It seems that McCarthy, who has not played a single complete first-team match since joining West Ham United from Blackburn Rovers more than three-and-a-half months ago, will have to improve his physical condition dramatically in order to gain a valid place in Parreira's finalised 23-player World Cup squad, which is due to be announced in two weeks.
"We will offer him all the support we can to get him into suitable shape," said Gonzalez, "but ultimately, it will be up to him to make a supreme effort because currently, his body fat is too high.
"His physical state is inferior to the other players," he added, "and that is not good. "Will he be fit enough to be chosen in two weeks' time? Only the coach can give you the answer,” Gonzalez said in an interview on SuperSport Zone. But the Bafana trainer did not mince his words. "To play in a World Cup, you have to be in physically top condition," he said. "Benni McCarthy at this time is not in that condition." "He has to help us help him," added Gozalez. "We are only going to launch his preparation. From then on, it will be up to him,” he told SuperSport Zone.
What makes this particularly complicated is that McCarthy boasts the experience and quality of which Parreira is in dire need.
But Bafana Bafana strikers are a rare breed indeed, for they have to venture back to the midfield sometimes simply because they are so often starved of possession and have to fetch it, almost like an overzealous Bryan Habana moving closer to the rucks to get his hands on the ball when the Springboks seldom provide him with something out wide.
But that moving back and forth from the midfield will be a tiring exercise, and in his physical shape, that may be too much to ask of McCarthy.
Parreira was the fitness coach of the Brazilian team that won the World Cup back in 1970, so if anyone knows what fitness levels are required, it is the coach.
Parreira has declared his satisfaction with the state of Bafana’s play after they hammered Thailand 4-0 at the new Mbombela Stadium in Nelspruit. It was a weak Thailand team, but Parreira said he wanted a result and a good performance from his players – and he got both. Confidence begets confidence, and that is what Parreira’s boys are in need of.
But their warmups will be more intense from now on. They meet Bulgaria at Soccer City on 24 May, Colombia at Green Point Stadium on 27 May and Denmark at Soccer City on 5 June.
All Bafana’s European-based players will be available for the showdown against Bulgaria next Monday, including Everton’s player of the season Steven Pienaar, Bafana skipper Aaron Mokoena, Fulham’s Kagisho Dikgacoi and the Russian-based midfielder Macbeth Sibaya, reported the Cape Argus.
But what about Bafana’s opposition in the first round? Mexico, who will meet South Africa in the opening match at Soccer City in Johannesburg on 11 June, defeated Chile 1-0 on Sunday in its last warmup game at home before heading to Europe to prepare for the World Cup. Chile outplayed Bafana when it beat them 2-0 in a friendly in February 2009.
Mexico fielded a strong team, spearheaded by new Manchester United signing, Javier Hernandez.
Coach Javier Aguirre lamented the lack of goals, acknowledging that it may be a problem. “I think we’re headed in the right direction, but we have to fine-tune,” he told the Cape Argus.
Tradition offers hope for South Africa, as no host nation has failed to reach the second round since the World Cup was first started 90 years ago in Uruguay.
The host nation is always one of the top-eight seeds in the World Cup tournament. Bafana's opponents in the first round of Group A are France, Uruguay and Mexico, who reached the second round in the last four World Cup tournaments, and all three of them are among the top 20 football nations in the world – while South Africa is ranked a lowly 90.
Sapa-AFP described France as infuriatingly erratic, but it must be the favourite to finish the first round on top of the group rankings, as it was a finalist in two of its last three World Cups, and it boasts the midfield experience of Abou Diaby, Lassana Diarra and Florent Malouda, as well as the striking ability of Nicolas Anelka, Franck Ribery and Thierry Henry.
Uruguay has arguably the greatest marksman in Group A in Diego Forlán of Atlético Madrid.
But it has made little impact since its second World Cup title in 1950 and has been branded as a group of bully boys because of its image as talented players with short fuses who often are red-carded for serious disciplinary offences in tournaments, said Sapa-AFP.
Mexico is as unpredictable as the other two contestants, and was struggling to stay in the qualification race at one stage, even sacking the former England manager Sven-Goran Eriksson before the team found its way under Aguirre.
How will these three talented but unpredictable sides, at venues up to 1 800 metres above sea level, perform in front of infuriating vuvuzela-blowing crowds of 80 000 vowing for Bafana Bafana?
It will also depend on the ability of Bafana Bafana to improve the quality of its passing game, and on the ability of the fitness staff to get the 'fat boy' moving like a hare and kicking like a mule in front of the goalposts.

Mister Wong
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