Dangerous world of make-believe

Concerns are mounting among psychologists, NGOs catering for the welfare of children and parent groups about the impacts and dangers of some elements of the ever-expanding network of social media in the cyber space. The concerns were heightened in South Africa last week by rumours on Facebook about the suicide of two students after they were “named and shamed” on the controversial chat room website www.toilet.wen.ru.

While the alleged double suicide at this stage is still an unconfirmed rumour, we did find a blog for a petition that was started earlier this year to try and get the website shut down. On 1 June someone posted the following comment: “Please stop outoilet (sic) or I’ll commit suicide.”

Unlike Facebook and MXit, the toilet chat site gives people an option to remain anonymous, enabling them to target their “victims.” Under the heading, “Speak your heart out” it promises users that they are  “free to say whatever you like, no-one will ever trace your number or get your personal details.”

The site, which also offers a wide variety of pornographic video clips – including young people under the heading “Barely legal – does however expect users to trust it with their cellphone numbers, which ,ust be supplied to gain access to the various services it offers.

Anybody can contact the site’s webmaster and add a group, company, school or other institution and there are already a long list of South African schools and tertiary institutions on the site. It is divided into sections that allow users to be very specific about where their attacks are aimed. It is also divided into provinces and even down to suburb and township level.

In an article by Corrinne Louw in the Sowetan of 12 September child psychologist Matentjie is quoted as saying the anonymous nature of the site makes its impact on young people more devastating. “It disempowers a person because there is no way you can identify the culprits. Whoever is writing the damaging things about you has no fear of repercussions.”

The article in the Sowetan tells the story of a woman victim who was targeted on the site by people who spread the rumour that she was HIV positive after she gave birth in June last year and then lost a lot of weight and the story of a young man who claims his life came “crashing down when he was alerted to what was said about him on the site”.

To the extent that the world of social media creates a living environment of make-believe is illustrated by claims of sites like www.kaneva.com that it is ‘a free virtual world, where you can make new friends, hang out together, and have fun,” and that it is a “ metropolis full of cool hangouts, interesting people and entertainment hot-spots …. full of fun and exciting things to do. You can shop, dance, chat, play and hang out with friends in 3D.”

There are also those with a less wholesome atmosphere like the suicidemachine which boldly states: “We believe everyone should be able to commit suicide in social networks.” It invites people to “liberate your newbie friends with a Web2.0 suicide! This machine lets you delete all your energy sucking social-networking profiles, kill your fake friends, and completely do away with your Web2.0 altereg.”

Although it goes on to state that “the machine is just a metaphor for the website …; (it is) the belly of the beast where web2.0 suicide scripts are maintained,” it does not seem to cater for the emotional  and psychological stress of those who reach the stage where they want to break with the world of make-believe that has often become their reality.

It is a world where there also exists what some commentators call the mate market, where  people who find it difficult to connect to others in the real world can escape.

Commenting on the latest reports on the toilet-site Joan van Niekerk, director of Childline South Africa told The Independent, that teenagers were often affected by remarks on social networks. “These websites are extremely powerful. Teenagers are very easily humiliated and feel vulnerable about criticism or rudeness on these sites. It is important that parents give their children skills to use the site appropriately.”

She also urged students or teens to report slanderous comments on social sites to Childline SA, which provides online counseling on MXit. The tollfree number is 0800 055 555.