Who’s the (best ) boss?

It’s all about organisational hermaphroditism

Men may wear the pants, but women’s stilettos have cracked the glass ceiling and emasculated the Boys’ Club… enough with the metaphors. As controversial as it may be to generalise, each gender has traits that contribute to good people management.

My first male boss gave me a black eye approximately two weeks into the job. “Men”, I sighed, as I tossed the ball back to him and went on with my work.

A short cricket match took place in that office almost every afternoon. As one of two women on a team of 15, I learnt much about sport and how its rules need to be adapted when a photocopy machine stands in for wickets.

I also learnt that despite what 1970s-style feminists had taught me, we are not the same.

Before I go any further, I should point out that when we are measuring the merits of half of the six-billion-strong population of the planet against those of the other half, we have little choice but to generalise.

And, in a typically female move, I shall go into consultative mode and hand the first shot at generalisation over to a man.

“In my experience in the publishing world, male bosses tend to be more decisive and confident, which means they get things done, but don’t always listen to what you have to say.

They’re easier to predict and therefore easier to handle,” says Tim Richman, publishing manager at Two Dogs, a book imprint aimed mainly at South African men.

“Female bosses, on the other hand, are more concerned about the well-being of their staff; they’re empathetic and open to ideas, and they’re more conscientious and thorough with details and processes.”

Imagine a working team as something resembling the original unit in which our species was grouped, namely the family: mom, dad and kids.

Slightly further away are the aunts and uncles – maybe those can be the accounts department for now. We ignore them any time they are not sending us cheques.

In our little cave family – which resembles many other mammalian groupings, except that it is slightly less hairy – Dad is there to protect everyone from outside threats and keep the kids in line. He is a hunter, a warrior. Mom is there to feed and nurture, and make sure a healthy next generation is raised. She is a gatherer,
an organiser.

The hunter-gatherer dichotomy is evident in many workplaces. A woman may take everyone’s views into account in the way that she, millennia ago, might have gathered berries.

A man may shoot down an idea in a meeting just as he would have done a woolly mammoth in a meadow.

Thankfully, we have moved out of caves (not very comfy) and it is no longer socially acceptable to insist that all women go out and fetch berries even if they want to go hunting.

But the evolutionary residue of the system we used in the wild informs each of us to at least some extent.

Your typical woman, spotting a staffer who is struggling, may take on the nurturing role and commence training. Spotting a weaker animal in the herd, a man may use this as an opportunity to assert his dominance, or to strengthen the herd by kicking out the weakling.

Have I swapped species here? That sounds more like wildebeest. But the biological programming is not that different. Sometimes it is almost literal.

“I have a loud, booming voice,” says
Francois Staples, director of Galetti Commercial and Industrial Property, of how his masculinity makes him a good manager. “Don’t
print that.”

This high-flier’s imploring tone towards me reveals the corollary to the theorem. For men are also little boys, and women little girls.

My cricket-playing boss used to have a male assistant. Between the two of them, if there was any boring or unpleasant work to be done, all that would happen was drinking and online sports fantasy leagues. Neither was interested in the time-consuming ‘gathering’ aspect of the job.

When that assistant left, a young woman replaced him, and she immediately took on a maternal role.

Once I watched her march the boss from the kitchen to his office, saying, “Next time, just ask me to make your tea. You can’t drink out of a sugar bowl just because you don’t know where the mugs are. Now, I’m taking you to your office and you’re going to stay there until you’ve signed off the last of those documents. Okay?”

Meekly, the fearless warrior of a male boss sat down at his desk and said, “Okay.”

The other way to soften this guy was to cry in front of him. He is not the only one.

Polly, who will not reveal her surname or her occupation because her boss reads Leadership, says, “In my experience, female bosses allow PMS and personal issues to affect their professional life, while male bosses are easily affected by, well, PMS and personal issues...

“I’m not a fan of manipulation, but I did on one occasion shed a tear (or seven) in front of a male boss, just to get my point across.”

It works both ways. Anthony van Blerk, an operations manager says, “Face it: management is manipulation.”

Flirting, for example, is a common feature of intergender professional relations, whether it is subtle enough to work or blatant enough to justify police involvement.

“A young, pretty woman could manage men quite easily,” asserts Van Blerk, who may or may not have a young, pretty female managing director to report to.

Perhaps the point is that you would want both – you should aim towards organisational hermaphroditism.

A management team should offer a breast into which staff can cry as well as a bicep to control a disciplinary hearing; complex berry soufflé as well as hearty mammoth burgers.

Mix typically female compassion and thoroughness with typically male decisiveness
and levity.

And make sure everyone knows how to play cricket.

Follow the leaders

A few senior managers break it down

Dennis Cavernelis, assistant editor of the ”Cape Times”

I’ll always have a soft spot for the man boss who protected me from his lady boss when I spent the better part of a day in the pub.

Lady boss effortlessly out-toughed her male colleagues; possibly because she was a woman in a senior position in a male-dominated industry.

Her patience was wearing thin when no one could find me to tell me that something dramatic was happening on a story I was supposed to be covering. When I eventually surfaced, man boss wailed her name and something about balls and drawers.

”Whose balls?” I wailed back.

”My balls, Den, it’s always my balls in the drawer…”

I liked them both: man boss for looking out for me, and his fierce lady boss who managed her people with near-villainous efficiency, issuing sought-after half-nods and almost-smiles as signs of her approval.

Nicky, a project manager in the social-development industry

I have only ever had male bosses and now that I think about it, most of them were flirtatious.

I’ve been pretty unfazed by it, though – the cheesy flirting just makes them look ridiculous and weak. It’s always nice to have moments of seeing your boss as weak.

Anthony van Blerk, operations manager for Premier Oil in Thailand

I’ve seen this word in books – ”empathy”, and just as women have to do sometimes with orgasm, men have to learnt to fake empathy.

I find that, for this reason, women often make better middle management than men. This is because middle management entails having to deal with people and their problems. Men often fall short in this area.

On the higher end of management, men generally have more capacity to make colder decisions on a larger, less specific scale.
It’s kind of a sword-vs-scalpel scenario.

The other side

Meekly, the fearless warrior of a male boss sat down at his desk and said, ‘Okay.’

Inject some gender-unnatural habits into your
management style and see new results

Men, try a little…

Tenderness: Use empathy as your first reaction in conflict. Try to understand the other party’s position. You may change your mind – or you may find a new way to reason with your adversary.

Gossip: Hang out near the water cooler or in the smoking room. Find out who’s dating whom, what people think of the CFO (it’s never good), etc. Knowledge is power.

Memory: Put people’s birthdays and other personal occasions in your PDA. A pat on the back and a ”Happy birthday” or, ”How did Jimmy’s sports day go?” will go a long way towards goodwill and morale.

Chocolate cake: Team bonding over comfort food? Worth the price of a gooey monthly treat. Chocolate stimulates serotonin production, meaning a happy work force… until the sugar crash sets in.

Women, try a little…

Arrogance: It could be argued that the glass ceiling is there largely because of a lack of confidence. Put on a strut and rate yourself; soon, others will too.

Self-reliance: It’s fine for you to make some decisions unilaterally, without consulting everyone. Know that sometimes, you just know.

Humour: Laughing eases stress and encourages creative thinking. Laughing with is always better, but laughing at is a unifier if the object of ridicule is someone outside, for example a client or supplier.

Booze: The great leveller, alcohol loosens up inhibitions, gives shy people confidence and sometimes lets impressive or intimidating folk look foolish. A night out will give you insights into your team that you won’t get in an office setting.